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Our Ever Important Need For Validation

Posted on December 11 2015

This post is a little outside my norm, but I haven't stopped thinking about this particular topic of validation for quite some time and felt I should write about it. Sure, it's not fashion advice per say, but the beauty of owning your own company is you get to write about what you feel is important. So, here I am!

First, let's define what it means to validate something. According to the Cambridge English Dictionary:

validation, validate, confidence, inspire, sincere, honest, confidence, truth, meaning, give, service, love

Not more than a few months ago, I decided to fully commit to building this company I had dreamed of for a long time. It took many, many sleepless nights, stressful days, tearful eyes, etc, etc... And throughout the emotional process, I had so many doubts of my ability to create what I had envisioned. But each time I would get to the point where I didn't think I could go any further, someone would say something to build me up and show me I was on the right path. They would validate my idea, which gave me the courage and confidence to keep pushing forward. A few simple, but sincere words was all it took to get me going again. And in those moments of consolation, I realized how incredibly powerful validation can be.

I truly believe every person on this earth has the need for validation. Not because we are not confident human beings, but because we were born with that basic need. As children, we needed to be reassured, encouraged, motivated, and most importantly- validated in every facet of our little lives. Such validation from our parents, friends, and family gave us confidence to do things we had never done before, and proved we could do hard things. And just because we've grown up, doesn't mean our need for such reassurance and praise has faded away. Sure, it's not needed in the same way as when we were a child, but it's still a great need many of us have forgotten to give and seldom receive.

I want you to take a moment and think of the last time someone validated you- whether it was because of an idea you had, something you accomplished, or a talent you shared- and when they did, how did it make you feel? Now, I want you to think of the last time you honestly validated another. Were your motives pure? Sometimes, in the social media world we live in we are quick to give what I call "cheap validation" or validation merely for our own self-satisfaction. It's easy to get caught up in the idea that if we give out a compliment on Instagram, etc, we'll be noticed, or that particular person might be more willing to pay attention to what we have to offer if we appear to be kind. I'm not saying this is what everyone does, but what I am saying is that there is a greater need to give sincere and heartfelt validation for the many reasons I mentioned above.

Make an effort to go the extra mile and reach out to someone who appears to be lonely or left aside. Get to know that person and find ways you can earnestly uplift and encourage them on their journey. Don't be afraid to even offer validation to someone who appears to have it all together. You never know the battles inside another's heart. You never know how much your genuine words are needed.

I invite you to join with me in seeking to always remember the importance of validation and find ways to bring its true meaning back into our world again.


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